Poetry Blues

Poetry Blues

I have a problem, as you can see,

A problem involving poetry.

For while many people love to rhyme,

They just do it from time to time,

But whenever I talk, or sing, or shout,

Verse is the only thing that comes out,

And no matter how hard I try to stop,

It’s one of those habits that I can’t drop.

I swear I wasn’t born this way,

It just sort of started one average day,

When I read a book in English class,

Of Shakespeare’s works, and then, alas,

I started rhyming without end,

And haven’t yet managed to stop the trend.

So here I am, a rhyming machine,

I think you all can see what I mean.

It makes life tricky when I’m trying to text,

My mom is always getting vexed,

When besides just saying, “Where are you?”

I add “And what’s for dinner too?”

And phone calls really are the worst,

My friends all think that I’ve rehearsed,

But its honestly all out of my control,

Though this strange fact does not console.

Alright, it’s time to stop this pain,

Before it drives the world insane.

But how to do it? I don’t know.

I can’t just tell this curse to go.

I’ve got to think of some strange word,

For which finding a rhyme would be absurd.

Hmm... let’s see, what could it be,

the word that will end my misery.

Ah ha! How about watermelon?

No one can rhyme that, not eve a felon!

Oh G-d, I did it, I found a match!

I’ll have to now start back from scratch.

How about giraffe or macaroon?

No wait, don’t laugh, I spoke to soon.

Not even they can stop this mess!

What will do it? I can’t even guess.

I’m starting to feel like there’s no hope,

And forever I will mope,

Saying strange verses here and there,

Creeping-out people everywhere.

But what am I supposed to do?

I’ve thought and thought ‘til I’ve turned blue,

And still haven’t found a word that fits.

The time draws near to call it quits...

An orange rolls onto the stage. Beat.

How strange; Out of nowhere came this orange...

Nothing rhymes with orange!

Hooray! Ha ha! Yes sir! Whoopee!

I have been freed from poetr...

Drat!