The Tale of Sally Small

Open on a dining room with a large table set for diner and thirteen place settings with place cards at each plate. Two seats are already filled with two teenage girls, chatting quietly but animatedly.

Four people enter the room, an adult man and woman and two daughters, on the side opposite the young girls. Girls check place cards.

Rachel: I got Sally and Dad, how about you?

Rebecca: Lucky! I’m stuck with Evan and Uncle A. He’s sooooo boring, last time he spent an hour talking about different types of beef jerky. No joke, an hour.

Rachel: Well quick, maybe we can move these.

Nancy: It would be nice if one of you sat next to Granddad, he would like that.

Rebecca: How about we switch dad with Evan, put Sally next to Mom and I’ll sit next to Granddad.

Ken: Well whatever you’re doing, do it quickly because the rest of the mispuhkhe is arriving.

Enter an elderly couple, a middle aged couple, two teenage boys, and a nun. People start to find their seats.

Rebecca: whispering to Nancy What’s with the nun?

Nancy: A friend of my sister’s probably.

Rachel: But, its Rosh Hashanah…nuns most definitely aren’t Jewish.

Nancy: Janus always likes to add extra people last minute, make sure everybody knows she’s in charge. Like starting a half an hour late isn’t enough.

Sally: to Ken If you could please help me get him seated [motioning to Granddad], he’s just not so steady on his feat. I give him the walker but he never uses it.

Ken heads over to help Granddad sit, but Granddad has already seated himself. Ken sits down, as does everybody else except for Sally.

Evan: Sally, do you need anything?

Before Sally can answer Janus’ phone goes off and she stands up, checks the screen and leaves the room. As Janus stands up Sally sits down.

Sally: turning to Evan What were you saying dear?

Evan: Never mind.

Janus returns with a loaf of challah, passes it to Miranda and sits down. Immediately Sally stands up.

Miranda stands up and Sally sits back down..

Miranda: looking over the table Mom, did you bring any butter?

Ken: Its over here, I’ll send it your way.

Miranda sits back down and Sally immediately rises. Ken passes the butter

Miranda: Thanks Uncle Kenny

Rachel: in hushed tones to Nancy What exactly is Sally doing?

Nancy: You never know with Sally but you can bet its meshugena.

A: Sally, is anything wrong?

Sally: No, not at all. Its just that there’s 13 people at this table if I sit down.

Janus: Mother! Really this is ridiculous, would you please just sit.

Jake: Come on Sally, 13 people, what harm’s that gonna do?

Rebecca: whispering to Rachel Watch this

Rebecca stands up and pretends she dropped her napkin. Sally sits down.

Sally: Don’t worry about me, please, just continue with dinner dear.

Rebecca picks up her napkin and sits back down. Sally immediately stands up.

Janus: Mother, I insist. We are not starting this dinner until everyone is seated!

Nancy: in hushed tones Can she go five minutes without bossing someone around?!

Sally: Alright, alright, I’ll sit.

Sally slowly and hesitantly sits down, looking terrified. Just as she is finally seated everyone falls of their chairs and collapses, dead.