Honey Farty Ducky

Albert: I love you, baby waby face. (squeezing the hand of his newlywed wife)

Samantha: I love YOU, babykins. (squeezing back)

Albert: So, how exactly are we supposed to get to the hotel, lovey dubby cup.

Samantha: I’ll grab the map, Mr. handsomey teddy webby bear. (climbs into the back of the car to reach map, inadvertently sticking her but into Albert’s face while he tries to drive)

…(a moment passes, and Samantha passes a fart)

Albert: (makes a disgusted face, over-exaggerate it!)

Samantha: (plops down back into her seat holding the map, as Albert struggles to control his face) Found the map, Mc. Heart throbber. (leans in for a kiss, but the smell worsens and Albert dodges causing Samantha to fall)

Albert: Oh my goodness! Was that a cow, goldie doll?! (covering) I’m sorry my whittle cinnamon cutie pie. (struggles to figure out how to role down the window)

Samantha: (gives a slightly inquisitive look to pet name choice) A cow?! Oh no, you don’t think we hit it, cookie dovey!

Albert: (still struggling open the apparently locked windows) Oh no! (desperately) Oh no, I doubt it, my whittle shoey dewy do. (distractedly)

(smell continues to worsen, as Samantha continues to fart progressively louder)

Samantha: (another look) Oh damn, this map is in Greek, honey bears!

Albert: Well we are in Greece, honey fartey ducky. (distracted)

Samantha: WHAT did you call me, jelly bean?

(farting continues)

Albert: (realizing his mistake, but unable to focus) I love you, my lil’ kitten litter.

Samantha: Oh, maybe I misheard money muffin.

(loudest and longest fart explodes, sounding throughout the entire stage)

Albert: (passes out from smell)

Samantha: (evilly laughs as she takes Albert’s watch, wallet, and wedding ring and lets go of the lock button on the window. She steps outside of the car, smiling wickedly) What would I do without you, my honey farty ducky.

(a man walks across the street, and Samantha runs after him stuffing Albert’s watch and wallet)

(catching up to the man) hey there, love muffin, wanna grab some lunch? I’ll buy. (still smiling wickedly)