If Life Was Like a Movie…

Chorus: Life

Waitress (holding plates of food): Lisa! Help me carry out these chocolate fosfates. I didn’t think people under eighty actually ordered those things.

(Lisa obediently picks up the glasses and follows waitress to a table where a boy and a girl sit)

Waitress: Here you go!

(Boy looks at milkshake girl intently. Girl sitting with him at the table follows his gaze.)

Girl: Oooooh. You were looking at her.

Boy: Was not.

Lisa walks by.

Boy: Hey! Sorry, um, can we get some ketchup for these fries?

Lisa: Oh! Yeah! Sure! One sec.

Girl: You don’t even like Ketchup.

Boy: So?

Chorus: Rom Com

Waitress (holding plates of food): Lisa, darlin! Help me carry out these chocolate fosfates. I didn’t think people under eighty actually ordered those things.

(Milkshake girl obediently picks up the glasses and follows waitress to a table where a boy and a girl sit)

Waitress: Here you go!

(Boy looks at Lisa intently. Girl at his table follows his gaze.)

Boy: Lisa?

Lisa: Jake?

Boy: Oh my god it’s been so long! How are you?

Lisa: Wow, I haven’t seen you since that last day of senior year…

Jake: Yea… (looks at other girl at the table) Oh. um. You remember Tiffany?

Tiffany: I was captain of the cheerleading team.

Lisa: Oh yeah. Goooo tiffany (does cheerleading move).

Jake: Wow, remember how we were best friends throughout high school? I can’t believe we lost touch. We were such good strictly platonic, nothing else, no sexual tension at all, best friends.

Lisa: (Sigh) Yea…

Jake: Remember how we used to swim together by that lake down by the bridge at sunset, and frolic in those daisy fields together, and sometimes I’d blast 80’s love songs outside your window to wake you up?

Lisa: (Sigh) Yea…

Jake: I’ve missed you.

Tiffany: (coughs)I’m hot.

Jake and Lisa look deeply into each others eyes

Chorus: Soap

Waitress (holding plates of food): Drink girl! Help me carry out these chocolate fosfates. I didn’t think people under eighty actually ordered those things.

(Lisa obediently picks up the glasses and follows waitress to a table where a boy and a girl sit)

Boy is down on one knee next to the table as if about to propose.

Waitress: Here’s the food…

(Boy looks up from the girl at the table to Lisa. Suddenly he is studying her intently.)

Boy: Lisa?

Lisa: Jake. Oh my god. I haven’t seen you since that last day of senior year…

Jake : How are you?

Lisa: You are the father of my child!

Boy: Lisa!

Girl: Jake!

Chorus: Horror

Waitress (holding plates of food): Lisa! Help me carry out these chocolate fosfates. I didn’t think people under eighty actually ordered these things.

(She takes a sip and cocks her head.) Hmm. Tasty.

(Milkshake girl obediently picks up the glasses and follows waitress to a table where a boy and a girl sit. As they walk over waitress begins to twitch).

Waitress: Here’s your food- with a side of DEATH! (Waitress turns into a zombie and attacks boy. Boy jumps out of the way- and the zombie goes for the girl at the table- girl dies.)

Milkshake girl: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (Fends off a zombie attack with cutlery.)

Boy: WOA. What just happened? (He reaches for his fosfate.)

Lisa: Don’t drink it! It turned Anne into a zombie!

Boy: Oh my god. You’re right. (From behind them comes the sound of ripping flesh. The kitchen staff emerges as more zombies.)

Hi. I’m Jake

Lisa: I’m Lisa. Nice to meet you (sets up in a defense pose with her cutlery. Hands Jake a fork.) Let’s kill some zombies.

Chorus: Musical

Waitress (holding plates of food): Lisa! Help me carry out these chocolate fosfates. I didn’t think people under eighty actually ordered those things.

(Lisa obediently picks up the glasses and follows the waitress to a table where a boy and a girl sit)

Waitress: Here you go!

(Boy looks at milkshake girl intently. Girl at his table follows his gaze.)

Girl: Oooooh you were looking at her.

Boy: Was not.

Lisa walks by.

Boy: Hey! Sorry, um, can we get some ketchup for these fries?

Milkshake girl: Oh! Yeah! Sure! One sec.

Table Girl: You don’t even like Ketchup.

Boy: So?

(To the tune of Build me Buttercup)

Chorus of boys: dumba dumba dumba dumba

Girl:

Whhhhyy do you ask for ketchup

From the cute waitress

just to piss me off

And mess me around

And then worst of all

You don’t let me eat half the fries

When you say you will

But I love you still

I need you

Chorus of boys: I need you!

Girl: More than anyone darling.

You know that I have from the start.

So share your fries.

Don’t break my heart.