Thursday, February 24, 2011

Self-Checkout

School

Person 1 (very worried): I have a problem.

Friend: What’s that?

Person 1: I need laxatives…

Friend: I’m not even going to ask, but just go to a place with self-checkout. That way you don’t have to deal with an awkward encounter.

Person 1: That’s like 15 extra minutes, but I guess it’s worth it.

Friend(Sarcastically): To ease the pain, I’ll come with you.

Giant Eagle

Person 1 stealthily goes to the aisle with laxatives but manages to conceal them in between a cherry coke and a kit kat bar. He carefully walks to the self-checkout.He puts the cherry coke and kit-kat through. It is time to buy the laxatives. He scans them and quickly puts them into the bag.

Self-Checkout Machine: ERROR! MIRALAX! ERROR! MIRALAX!

Friend runs out. Person 1 considers joining his friend but, instead, deals with the creepy stares.

Attendant (Practically Screaming): YOU HAVE TO PUT THE LAXATIVES ON THE BELT.

Person 1 tries one more time.

Self-Checkout Machine: ERROR! MIRALAX! ERROR! MIRALAX!

More awkward stares.

Attendant: Here. I’ll do it for you.

Person 1 finally gets his laxatives and walks out as everybody watches.

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