Setting: Person 1 sitting at a table with a tomato. They appear to be studying the tomato very diligently. They have a perplexed look on their face.
Person 2 enters from off stage. They walk in nonchalantly.
Person 2: Hey
Person 1 continues to study tomato as though they did not hear person 2 enter
Person 2: HELLO!
Person 1: Hi
Person 2: Whatcha doin’?
Person 1: Nothin’
Awkward Silence as person 1 continues to intensely study the tomato
Person 1: Have you ever noticed how confusing and complex a tomato is?
Person 2 responds looking at person 1 as though he/she is an alien and in a tone that conveys that they are shocked about what they just heard.
Person 2: No. I prefer to just eat my food and not study it
Person 1 responds as though they did not care about what person 2 said and were going to respond this way no matter what. Almost as though they are talking to him/herself
Person 1: There are so many varieties of tomatoes. Red tomatoes... green tomatoes... orange tomatoes... yellow tomatoes... big tomatoes... small tomatoes... grape tomatoes... cherry tomatoes... plum tomatoes...heirloom tomatoes... beefsteak tomatoes. There are even multiple ways to pronounce the word tomato. Also, who knows if tomatoes are a fruit or a vegetable?
Person 2: I’m going to go now. bye
Person 1: No, stay. I’m just about to cut the tomato. Just wait until you see the juice oozing from the inside and the seeds pouring out.
Person 1 cuts the tomato and watches as the juices and seeds pour out
Person 1: Want a bite?
Person 2: Sure
Both eat pieces of the tomato
Both: What a wonderful food the tomato truly is!
Almost zany enough to work -- but needs a zippier ending.
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