College Interview

A student enters a room for a college interview. Having stayed up all night preparing for the interview, she is exhausted. She gets to the interview late. Her nerves get the best of her and the college meeting does not go as planned.

Interviewer: Hello, Miss Evans! Welcome to Yale. I’m so pleased to meet with you today.

Student (stumbles into room, knocks into a chair, and eventually sits down. She speaks rapidly) : Hi, Mr. Smith. Sorry about the delay...my um...my cat? Yes, my cat ran away last night and I had to go to the store...I mean the pound...at a very late hour...around 2am.

Interviewer: Oh, well I’m sorry to hear that! I had no idea that pounds were open that late to the public.

Student: Well...they aren’t.

Interviewer: Well, how did you get in?

Student: Oh...never mind that. Do you want to see my application?

Interviewer: Ah well okay...Yes..yes I suppose that would help.

Student hands in sheet of paper.

Interviewer: Well this is interesting! I see you are allergic to cats...

Student: Oh... well you know. Nowadays with the new technology in medications...and stuff like that...I mean...my allergy has been cured!

Interviewer: How fortunate for you. (sarcastically)

Student: Yes! I’m very lucky. Did you see my grades? And all my extracurriculars? How about all my volunteer work? And my art portfolio? I also had a summer job...

Interviewer: As most of our applicants do, Miss Davis. Tell me first, what do you think of our school? What do you like best about it?

Student (dozing off)

Interviewer: Ehem...Miss Evans?

Student: HI! What was the question?

Interviewer: What do you like about the school?

Student: Nice campus... it’s just really nice. Lots of trees... trees and buildings...

Interviewer: Have you even looked at what we offer academically?

Student: Well yes! I love school...I learn good....well. I learn well. Does that make sense? I don’t know, I really like school. It’s just great and so are books.

Interviewer: Great, great. Books! What have you been reading lately?

Student: Oh.. lots of books. I read the Oddessy in 8th grade. I love that one guy..Odippyus. And they go visit the circus...or circe... and there are pigs everywhere!

Interviewer: That...was four years ago. Have you read anything since?

Student: Yeah..lots of stuff! I just don’t remember names right now...

Interviewer: That could be a problem.

Student: Um...

Interviewer: Would you like to reschedule? Maybe today isn’t the best day.

Student: Yeah... yeah...

Interviewer: How about we put it this way... i’ll contact you...