Thursday, February 24, 2011

Can You Keep It Down?

A man is sitting on a bench waiting for something, reading the newspaper. Another man sits near him, and pulls out his IPod and begins to listen to it. He starts out listening to Don’t Stop Believin by Journey, slowly starting to sing and move ridiculously to the beat, like moving his head side to side and lifting shoulders up and down. He is also a horrible singer.

Singer: (sings to) Just a city boy-

Man 2: Hey man, can you keep it down alittle. I’m kinda trying to read.

Singer: Oh no probs, dude.

Turns his IPod to the chorus of Highway to Hell by ACDC. He sings it, but in a whisper voice imitating a crowd and starts air guitaring and head banging.

Singer: I’m on the highway to hell! On the highway to hell! Highway to hell! I’m on the highway to hell!

Man 2: Hey, do you think you can hum instead of sing? I’m still having trouble reading.

Singer: Well I guess I could-

Man 2: Fantastic. Thanks.

Singer turns his IPod to Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. He starts to hum while ridiculously moving his head up and down to represent the pitches in the section of the song.

Singer: (Hums)

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the Fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Galileo
Galileo figaro-Magnifico-

Man 2: You know what man. You are impossible! You can’t even sing!

Singer: Well, I wasn’t even trying to sound good-

Man 2: I heard someone sound like you once, and it was a walrus on the discovery channel that was dead two minutes later. I’m out of here!

Singer is a little confused as to the other guy’s problem, and starts to listen to a new song. This song is My Heart Will Go On. He sings this beautifully, and overly dramatic, reaching out to an invisible audience.

Singer: You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

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