Editing the Crappy Paper

Characters:

· Teacher

· Teacher thoughts (Person backstage saying the thoughts)

· Student

Student: Hey, can you help me with this paper? It is due in a week, and I think its really good. (Holding out the paper toward the teacher)

(Both sit down and the teacher grabs the paper)

Teacher: All right, lets look at this. Do you want me to check for the broader subject, or just specifics and grammatical errors?

Student: Uhhhhhhhhh. Just check for everything. I really want to do well on this paper.

Teacher: Ok. Lets look at this. Its about Karma, right? (student nods his head)

Teacher’s Thoughts: blah blah blah blah blah. Why am I reading this? All right. I will nod my head a little keep look back and for to him. Well that tense is incorrect, but I’m just gonna let it go just so he will lose a couple points. Oh crap, the thesis. Ok thesis. Wow. This doesn’t even make sense.

Teacher: Sooooooooooooo. Your thesis doesn’t really make sense. What are you trying to say?

Student: yeah. I thought you would say that. I don’t really know what I am trying to say. I really just wanna say that if you do something bad, then karma will come and haunt you. (Student puts his head down in shame)

Teacher: ok. I think we can work with that. (Smiled and looked back down at the paper)

Teacher’s thought: WHAT? That doesn’t even make sense. Why am I working with him? I could be working on the integrity code, which hasn’t gone anywhere. I have read 20 papers today, and this is by far the worst one yet.

Teacher: It’s looking pretty good so far. (Teacher smiles and looks at the student)

Student: Thanks.

Teacher: (flipping through the pages) Wow, How long is this thing? I thought it was supposed to just be 3 pages?

Student: Yeah… its only 5 right now, I think I can take a lot of it out.

Teacher’s thoughts: Not gonna happen. Right now this is a good C- maybe D+ work. Maybe I should just tell him to rewrite it, I mean right now it is pretty crappy and I don’t really think it could become much more worse. Alright, fourth paragraph, 3^rd page and I am about to shoot myself. This is TERRIBLE.

Teacher: It’s looking, ok so far.

(Student nods)

Teacher’s thoughts: YESSSSSSSS!!! Last paragraph, and it is CRAP. This paper is terrible, I honestly think a second grader could write a better paper.

Teacher: ok, so it needs a little work, you need to work on your thesis; it doesn’t really work with the rest of your paper, and doesn’t make sense (said quietly). You also need to work on this (point at something on first page), this (point on something on second page), and I don’t think this paragraph really works. I say with a little work it may be good.

Teacher’s thoughts: This paper physically cannot be good. He is going to fail.

Student: (Standing up walking away) Thanks, I will work on it and show it to you once I am done rewriting it.

Teacher’s thoughts: oh crap. Not again.

Teacher: All right, sounds good.

CURTAIN