What Now, Bitch?

The scene opens with four teenage girls sitting around a table. They are discussing how they would act if they ever meet Justin Bieber.

Girl 1: So what would you guys do if you met Bieber? I would totally flip.

Girl 2 (leans back in her chair): I’d act cool and ask for his autograph. I don’t want to scare him away.

Girl 3: Oh. I don’t know. (Leans on her elbows with her head in one hand) I’m getting swoozy just thinking about it.

Boy enters stage, and walks up and stands off to the side of the table, looking puzzled.

Girl 4 (Sharply): Snap out of it. If you keep acting like this, he’d never even talk to you.

Girl 1 (Leans across the table at Girl 4, voice rising):Well I don’t want to be just another faceless girl to him.

Girl 2: Do you want to be another crazy fan, he’s got enough of those.

Boy (Steps up to the table): What are you girls talking about?

Girl 4 (Turns to glare at Boy): We were talking about how we would act if we met Bieber.

Girl 3: Yeah, it’s just such a-

Boy (Scoffs and cuts off Girl 3): What? You’re never going to meet him, and even if you did, he wouldn’t notice you.

Girl 1 (Stands up and walks up to Boy, getting in his face): So what are you saying about us?

Girl 4 (Stands up by the table with her hands on her hips): Yeah. You aren’t even a part of this group or this discussion.

Boy: I’m just saying, the chances of you girls actually meeting Bieber in person-

Justin Bieber (Walks on stage and up to the table): Hey guys, I’m Justin Bieber.

Everyone turns to look at him.

Boy (Freaks out, jumps up and down, and shouts): OMG! OMG! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! IT’S JUSTIN BIEBER!

Boy starts hyperventilating and sits down in Girl 4’s chair, muttering ‘Justin Bieber’ repeatedly.

Bieber: Hey girls, wanna come to my party?

Girl 4: Sure. What about him? (Points at Boy)

Bieber: He looks a little busy right now. Let’s go.

Bieber and all four girls begin to walk of stage. Girl 4 stops and looks back.

Girl 4 (Smugly to Boy): What now, bitch?

Curtain

Cast

Girl 1: spazzy

Girl 2: calm

Girl 3: slightly less spazzy/ swoozy

Girl 4: in charge/ bossy/ snappy

Boy: weird

Bieber: confused