Telemarketer

Scene: There is a man sitting on stage in a chair with a table with a telephone. There is another person behind the curtain to be the person on the other end of the phone (the telemarketer). The man’s wife is also behind the curtain.

**Phone Rings**

Man picks up: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hi is this Mable?

Man: Yes it is…?

Telemarketer: Hi, this is Jason calling on behalf of Gates Mills Phone Service, we wanted to share our new phone service with you, at a fraction of your current phone service price. How much do you pay for phone service?

Man: ummmm I have no idea

Telemarketer: well we can set you up for a free trial 30 day offer then it is only $19.99 per month for one year

Man: ummmm I don’t know, do you want to buy one of my homemade toothbrushes?

Telemarketer: Excuse me, sir? Would you like someone to come out to set up your new phone service?

Man: I want to sell some of my homemade toothbrushes, would you like to buy one? They are made of my real hair.

Telemarketer: Sir, would you like us to set up your phone service it is only $19.99 per month.

Man: Are you sure you don’t want to buy one of my homemade toothbrushes? They are only 5 dollars.

Telemarketer: sir, I don’t want your toothbrushes. Now, would you like us to set up your new phone services?

Man: well would you like to buy one of my homemade hairbrushes instead?

Telemarketer: Sir, I don’t want any of your toothbrushes OR your hairbrushes. Can you please tell me when you want our serviceman to set up your phone?

Man: are you sureeee?

Telemarketer: yes, sir, I’m quite sure. Will you PLEASE tell me about what you want for your phone service.

Man: ummmm…

Wife (cuts man off): MABLE YOU GET OFF THAT PHONE RIGHT NOW. YOU NEED TO STOP TALKING TO THOSE STRANGERS OR THEY’LL KILL YOU!