Door-to-door salesman

(Character one sits in chair writing a paper with a pencil. Character two enters.)

Character 2: Ding-dong.

Character 1: Hey

Character 2: Do you know what you need? (Character 1 looks confused.) You need something handy, you need something that is useful in so many ways! You need… (Pauses for emphasis, and holds up a normal looking pencil) a glow in the dark pencil, that writes in… glow in the dark.

Character 1: Ummm? I’m sorry I really don’t need this product, I have a pencil right here. Thanks anyways. (turns away)

Character 2: Wait, wait, wait. Do you know how unbelievable useful this could be? Think about it, a glow in the dark pencil. (says it slowly, as if explaining to a child)

Character 1: (says just as slowly) Yeah. I got that. But unfortunately for you, I don’t need it!

Character 2: (scoffs) Ha. That’s what YOU think. I know, for a fact, that you need this product more than anything.

Character 1: I’m pretty sure that I don’t need, so you’re going to have to go, now.

Character 2: Wait. Come on. Please? Just consider the endless possibilities! This glow in the dark pencil could blow your mind.

Character 1: Really? (sarcastically)

Character 2: (not noticing the sarcasm) Yeah! I mean… you can write in the dark! And never lose your pencil!

Character 1: Okay. Give me a real reason for me to buy this stupid pencil.

Character 2: (offended) It’s not stupid! (character 1 raises eyebrows) Okay. You could be writing a paper, with your glow in the dark pencil and… there could be an… black out. Yeah, a black out. And you wouldn’t be able to read the paper, right. (nods to self) but you REALLY need to read that paper, so you could keep writing. With the pencil, you could read the writing, and keep going! See? It’s perfect!

Character 1: (roles eyes) okay, you need to leave right now. (gently pushes the protesting character 2 off stage) (mutters to self) what an idiot. Glow in the dark pencil. (starts writing again, lights black out) Really?