Did you say a dream?

Please note: The description of the setting on pages 2 and 3 can be modified to account for a different stage set-up. It’s currently designed for Kennedy Auditorium. Whatever happens, it should reflect on the theater the play is taking place in without being too obvious about it.

The curtain rises. JOHN sits alone at a table, waiting for someone. After a moment, STEVE enters from stage-right. He looks very solemn.

JOHN

(Waving warmly)

Hey Steve!

(Noticing his expression)

What is it?

Steve stands next to him, seeming to weigh over something in his mind. After a moment, he speaks very slowly.

STEVE

John, there’s something I need to tell you.

(Beat)

My name isn’t actually Steve. It’s Raphael Zacutti.

JOHN

(Confused)

What are you talking about, Steve? We’ve been friends for years, how would I..

STEVE

(Dead serious)

Well that’s not actually true. You don’t remember yet, but you hired me to come here.

JOHN

(Totally lost)

I hired you? For what?

STEVE

Security. I specialize in a very specific type of security. Subconscious security.

JOHN

(Annoyed)

Oh my G-d, you’ve got to be kidding me! You really think I don’t remember Inception...

STEVE

(Urgently)

John, you have to trust me. Time is critical!

JOHN

For crying out loud...

STEVE

(Firmly)

Do you remember how you got here, John?

JOHN

(Not sure where this is going)

Uh, yeah. I walked from down the hall.

STEVE

(Pressing him)

Did you really? What details do you remember?

JOHN

Umm... There was strange girl running around singing songs about hair gel...

STEVE

(Dismissively)

She’s not real!

JOHN

(Really weirded out)

And a table covered with strange objects... a cactus, an axe, a plate of sardines...

STEVE

There’s no such table!

JOHN

And a giant curtain was blocking the path...

STEVE

But you’re missing the point, John. None of that actually happened! And do you remember anything else from your walk?

JOHN

(Beat)

Nothing really.

STEVE

(Very convincingly)

Exactly! You never actually came here! This is a dream!

JOHN

Look, this is ridiculous, Steve. I’m not in a dream.

STEVE

(Tactfully)

Yes you are! Look ahead, John. Look carefully and tell me what you see.

John stares forward uncertainly for a beat.

JOHN

It’s fairly dark. There are some lights shining down. Lights are also shining out of the ground so people can see where they’re going.

STEVE

Exactly!

JOHN

(Not believing this)

Wait, so you’re telling me that, in reality, lights don’t shine out of the ground?

STEVE

Of course!

JOHN

(Shocked)

Oh, come on!

STEVE

(Matter-of-factly)

What is completely bizarre in the real world seems perfectly normal in the world of the dream. You must accept that.

JOHN

(Rising)

Look, you obviously just watched Inception on DVD and highly enjoyed it, and I’m fine with that, but please, give this up!

Steve puts a hand on his shoulder and sits him down.

STEVE

John, Inception wasn’t real. I created it to show you the signs of being in a dream so you can figure out now that you yourself are in one. Please, listen to me!

JOHN

(Beat)

Steve, let me ask you a question. The more you draw attention to the fact that you’re in a dream, the more the imaginary people in it notice you, right?

STEVE

Correct.

JOHN

Then how come there aren’t lots of people staring at us creepily like in the movie? We’ve said that this is actually a dream, like, five times now!

STEVE

(Beaming)

But there are people, John! Look!

He gestures to the AUDIENCE. John looks out at them, completely shocked.

JOHN

Good... lord!

Curtain.