Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Caffeine Addicts Anonymous

Five people sitting in a circle on folding chairs, all the people have a slight jitter from caffeine withdraw.

Person 1: Okay everyone, welcome to Caffeine Anonymous. Since Caffeineism is such a huge problem at Hawken Upper School we have started a support group for students that need to get over their addiction. We are going to start with an exercise to get to know each other. Each person will stand up introduce themselves, say something they like and when they became dependent on caffeine. You can start. (Gestures toward person sitting next them)

James (Stands up with a twitch): Hi, I am j-j-James. I like, I like coffee and my addiction began in, n-n-ninth grade. Coffee has ran my life for three years. (Sits down)

Lisa (Stands up with hand on forehead): Hey, I am…can we turn the lights down a little bit, I am going through caffeine withdraw. Anyways, I am Lisa. I like the beach. I have also been addicted to coffee for three years.

Rodger (Jumps up and is speaking extremely loud and fast): HI GUYS! I AM ROGDER! I REALLY LIKE ENERGY DRINKS, LIKE ROCKSTAR!!!

Tino: I am Tino and I drink a ton of high caffeine tea. It started in the fall so that I could stay awake to do my homework when I started high school.

Person 1: Well know that we know a bit more about each other we need to make a plan to stop drinking these addictive drinks.

Rodger: WAIT! STOP?! I cannot stop drinking my energy drinks! I need them to do my school work and such!

Tino: I have to agree. I need this stuff to get through school.

Lisa: That is ridiculous.

Person 1: Come on, you need to give it up.

Everyone: NO!

Person 1: Yes.

Lisa: We need caffeine like you need oxygen.

Person 1: No you don’t.

Rodger: IF you want to make me stop I am leaving.

Everyone else: Yeah, me too.

Everyone but Person 1 stands up and storms off loudly. Person 1 stands and franticly tries to get everyone to sit down again but fails

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