I used to decapitate Barbie dolls

When I was little I used to decapitate Barbie dolls. Not for any particular reason. They were sort of just there one minute, and gone the next. My brother did it first, pulling the head off by the hair as I watched in horror. I remember screaming at him. That was before he showed me the head would always fit back on, if you pushed it hard enough. Sometimes I would just do that over and over again. Pull the head off and then put it back on. It wasn’t for any creepy suppressed homicidal tendency or anything, it was just so fascinating, like they couldn’t die.

I used to cut their hair too. I would cut little snip-its off and measure it up to my hair before taping it on a piece of paper which I eventually threw away. It’s a shame, I’ve heard, ruining all those Barbie dolls. They’re 50 years old and can still fit into those tight shorts. Pretty amazing. I guess I envy them a little. I couldn’t really live in their world ;I can’t fit into those tight shorts. Plus, Ken’s not really my type. But I guess I pity them a little too. Barbie wouldn’t be able to hold herself up without all that plastic. Those boobs are way too big and her but is way too small. It just isn’t possible.

There was one head that wouldn’t go back on though. No matter how hard I pushed on it. I threw it out. Nobody noticed. If somebody threw me out, I would want it to be noticed. I guess that’s why my head doesn’t pop back on. I just hope it never pops off.