The Coffee Machine

Cast of Characters

Man, boss of Global Reps Energy, big shot, thinks highly of himself, starts out by pulling out phone. He just got a call from work.

Daughter, sweet and innocent, very delicate, an angel

Man

Hello? Yeah its Mike from Global Reps Energy. What do you want? … What? The coffee machine is broke? Why do you think I care?....Because I’m the boss? Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?... Yes I’m you boss, but do you know who I am? Who am I? I’M THE GODDAMN CEO OF THIS COMPANY AND I CAN HAVE U FIRED!...Why would I want you fired?...Because your wasting my time. Your raising my blood pressure? What does this have to do with music?...NO I don’t need to relax. Look, you just wasted 15 seconds of my life. You know Bill Gates?...NO I don’t mean personally. Listen, if there was a 500 dollar bill on the ground…Yes they exist…now listen… Its real…I’m the CEO, of course I have seen one before… That’s what I’ve been trying to do. If there was a 500 dollar bill on the ground and Bill Gates happened to walk by, he would be wasting his time to try to pick it up…Yes, I know 500 dollars is a lot of money. It’s a metaphor describing his wealth. Its not real….I know it doesn’t take long to pick up a 500 dollar bill…. I’m telling you because you are wasting my time! Me talking to you about a coffee machine…We were talking about a coffee machine…Yes we were…Yes we were….OH MY GOSH. Thats it. Your fired…I don’t know, tell tom he can have your position….Tom’s what?.... He’s flirting with my secretary?....Well, tell tom that you and him and my secretary are all fired….I don’t know, tell Emily, she can have your job, Tom’s job, and the secretary’s job…..She’s busy? What is she doing? Wait. I don’t want to know…She quit? When?....Okay that’s it. You know what? Your rehired. Tom’s rehired. And the secretary is rehired. Okay. Now get back to work….NO, I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE COFFEE MACHINE!

(Daughter walks up to Man)

Daughter

Can we get some coffee? Our coffee mixer is broken.