The Audition

Cast of Characters

Eva, mother of Suzzy and thinks that candy kills people, doesn’t think with brain, talks whimsically

John, father of Suzzy, very calm and cool

Suzzy, child of age 7, is really gullible and innocent and cute

Judge 1, likes children

Judge 2, likes candy

(Eva and John are driving in a car to New York so Suzzy can audition for a play.)


Act 1. Part A

Eva

Just great. Look outside. Its raining.

John

Well. Yes, nature tends to do that a lot don’t it?

Eva

How are you feeling Suzzy? Are you comfortable? Need anything?

Suzzy

I want my candy bar!

Eva

No you can’t have your candy bar. Candy makes good people fat. It also melts away your teeth.

Suzzy

If candy is so bad, why do they make it?

Eva

They make it so bad people buy it and die.

John

(Eating a candy bar)

Suzzy

Is daddy a bad guy? Is he gonna lose his teeth and die?

Eva

JOHN! What are you doing? I’m trying to talk some sense into our little Suzzy and there you go, corrupting her. You are corrupting her innocence, her soul, and her mind with that candy bar.

John

What! I’m just enjoying a little snack before we get there. Relax. Do you want one?

Eva

John… Its no time to be enjoying a candy bar right now. Suzzy is going to be our little star and here you are, eating candy. (Scathing tone of voice) You should be ashamed of yourself. Here you are, like a little child, you are eating candy when others are dying from hungar.

John

I can’t hear you through all this deliciousness. The caramel is screaming for me to swallow it. OOOh this is so good. MMMHHH. DELICIOUS!

Eva

Control yourself John. Don’t pee your pants. And hey! Split that out.

(Eva and John fight over the Candy)

Act 1. Part B

Suzzy

Mommy, do I have to go sing in front of people?

Eva

Why, Suzzy, Don’t you wanna win. Don’t you want to taste that delicious pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?

Suzzy

What is that gold like?

Eva

Its sweet. Very sweet. I remember the first time I tasted it. It was delicious…no, it was zesty. The smell drifted out from that bucket into my nose. I can taste it now.

Suzzy

Gee…That sounds a lot like candy. I don’t think I want any now.

Eva

Suzzy, that was just a metaphor. A description. A personification of the sweetness of success!

Suzzy

I don’t really want to melt my teeth. I like them white and there. Will I die if I win. Mommy, I wanna go home. Can we go home?

John

Look what you did. You made the poor child scared and now she’s crying. Great Job Eva. Now you are qualified to be a psychologist. WOOOH yeah. Go Mommy!

Eva

John shut up! Jeez. At least help me calm the child.

John. Do you want some chocolate Suzzy?

Eva

No. don’t give her chocolate? What are you doing? Why don’t you give her something healthy, like mashed potatoes. Those are nice.

John

Yeah, in case you haven’t noticed yet. I’m driving! I don’t have any potatoes, mashed or unmashed.

Suzzy

Can we go home? I don’t wanna lose my teeth and die.

Eva

Suzzy, you’re going to be fine. Don’t worry. Just go out there and do your best.

John

Go get em’ tiger.

(Suzzy and Mom, get out of car, into building and Suzzy gets up in front of judges.)

Act 1. Part C

Judge 1

So Suzzy, how are you?

Suzzy

I’m good. A little scared.

Judge 2

(Takes a bite out of candy bar)

Suzzy

You’re gonna lose your teeth and die and get fat!