Can I Have Your Number?

Typical club scene, A man walks up to a woman at a club.

A. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my number. Can I borrow yours?

B. Um…not a chance.

A. You know, most people like to watch the Olympics, because it only happens once every four years, but id rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.

B. Yeah well, I would rather watch C-Span for the rest of my life than talk to you but thanks.

A. Your name must be Gillette because you’re the best a man can get.

B. Gee, I’ve never heard that before…

A. Is it hot in here or is it just you?

B. Well it was me but when you walked over here, it just dropped right back to room temperature.

A. Am I in heaven? Because I think I see an angel.

B. If you don’t get away from me soon, you might just find out whether or not you’re going to heaven.

A. I hope you know CPR because, baby, you take my breath away.

B. Even if I did, I wouldn’t use it on you.

A. I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.

B. You didn’t even say it right, buddy. And no I would rather jump off a bridge than go to your little party.

A. I’ll take that as a yes.

B. You do that.

A. If I were a stoplight, I’d turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

B. And I would run that red light to get away from you.

A. No you wouldn’t, you’d hold up traffic just so you could look back at me. I must have just sneezed because God has just blessed me with you.

B. Are you drunk?

A. No, I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by you.

B. Oh my.

A. Actually that reminds me, I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into the wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

B. Why wont you leave me alone?

A. Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy for you. Yeah man.

B. No, but you must be because Jamaican me angry.

A. You’re so beautiful, that you made me forget my next pickup line.

End.