Human Ties

The ensemble assembles on stage. Each portrays a different figure from freshman Humanities class: Gilgamesh, Enkidu, Rama, Sita, Hera, Zeus, Antigone, Creon, Beowulf, Grendel’s mother, Adam, and Eve. Perhaps they are wearing name tags, or Miss America style sashes, or some other distinguishing mark (i.e. Zeus has a lightning bolt, Rama is blue, Adam and Eve wear fig leaves, or something).

ADAM: I don’t know if I am human yet.

EVE: I don’t know that I know anything. Does humanity exist yet? Does knowledge?

ADAM: Knowledge is that tree.

EVE: Yes, but how can you know? (She sits, in the pose of “The Thinker”. Freeze.)

GILGAMESH: I am not human.

ENKIDU: Neither am I.

GILGAMESH: Are you threatening me?

ENKIDU: No, I think I’m in love with you.

GILGAMESH: Let’s find a brothel and become human together.

ENKIDU: Okay.

(They embrace or something and freeze)

RAMA: I’m not actually a human. I’m just the human incarnation of a god, which doesn’t really count. That’s why I can do cool stuff with my magic arrows.

SITA: This explains a lot.

RAMA: Does my godliness bother you?

SITA: I find it very attractive.

RAMA: Me, too.

(He puts his arm around her, and they freeze)

ANTIGONE: (scans the line) I wish I wasn’t a freaking human.

CREON: Dear, dear, calm down. It was the only way to maintain some sort of order in this place. It’s nothing personal, it’s just politics.

ANTIGONE: Politics? That’s the reason you’re letting your nephew rot on a hill?

CREON: He was a traitor!

ANTIGONE: He was my brother!

CREON: And I am your king. (They stare each other down, frozen)

GRENDEL’S MOTHER: Humans are tasty.

BEOWULF: Are you killing out of hunger?

GRENDEL’S MOTHER: Your people are tasty.

BEOWULF: Or out of anger?

GRENDEL’S MOTHER: You are tasty.

BEOWULF: Or out of love?

(She pounces on him, they freeze)

HERA: We are certainly not humans.

ZEUS: Though we do find them amusing at times. Particularly when they’re writhing in agony.

(They smile smugly at each other.)



CURTAIN