untitled (MegaCorp)

Woman and Man are two people dressed for work in the elevator. People enter on the main floor. Everyone is careful not to make eye contact with one another, except Man, who is obviously not a regular on the morning elevator ride. It lets people out on floor 3, leaving Man and Woman alone. However, the elevator unexpectedly stops between floor 5 and 6. They are both impatient because they have important meetings to go to. Woman's hair is pulled up, she is wearing a business suit, snazzy glasses, a purse in one hand and a briefcase in the other. Man is wearing a navy suit and a fresh shirt, both just recently purchased at JC Penny.


Woman walks in and turns aroundMan walks in and greets everyone.

Man: Hi. Goodmorning. Lovely day. How ya doin. Greetings m'am! (He stands in an awkward stance)
(Woman rolls her eyes)
The elevator lets out.

Man says: See ya! Have a nice morning!
(Woman stands proud, not noticing him)
The elevator starts, then stops, jerking a little.
Initially, Man's good mood isn't affected. He tries to make a casual conversation with Woman.

Man: It's a nice day out don't you think?
Woman: I don't really consider cold rainy mornings to be "nice" weather. I much prefer warm sunny days.
Man: Yes, but it's been so dry. The rains good for the flowers and the grass. And the trees. And the little frogs.
Woman: Right, the frogs. We've just gotta worry about frogs...

Awkward pause*

Man: Just to make my day even better, this delay is going to make me late. I don't have time for this.
Woman: Tell me about it. I have an appointment with my most important client, reports are due, I have to deal with my employees. My husband's out of town, my kids got pneumonia, and I have to pay my taxes.
Man: [puts out hand] Oh well.. my name's Henry, and yourself?
Woman: [with slight indication of disdain] Ms. Jacobson.
Man: What's holding them up? Can't they get this stupid thing started? I wonder how long we'll be stuck in here*
Woman: With you acting like that it's going to seem a lot longer.

Man pauses and looks at her. Keeps tapping foot with arms crossed.

Woman: [with disgust, rolls eyes, and reads a plaque on the elevator] Well, if they didn't buy cheap imported equipment, maybe it would work properly.
Man: This is an "Otis," made in Germany, the best there is. It must be the lousy maintenance by lousy workers working for a lousy company doing a lousy job! The whole building is probably falling apart.
Woman: I've worked in this building for years and I think it's well maintained. [Looks Man up and down].. Probably better than you are.
Man: And what does a woman know about maintenance?
Woman: You think I don't know about mechanical things because I'm a woman? I'll bet I know more than you, you probably never got your fingernails dirty.
Man: at least my fingernails are real.
Woman: At least my hair is real.

They both turn away and cross arms and tap feet.

Man: [starts pressing buttons on the elevator, trying to make it move.] I can't stand it any longer.
Woman: that's not all I can't stand*
Man: I can't be in here all day long, I've got an important meeting.
Woman: Yeah, you look real important.
Man: Maybe I'm not real important but the meeting is, it's my first day on a new job at MegaCorp and I want to be on time. Make a good first impression with my new boss. Why are you in a rush?
Woman: I'm the department manager for MegaCorp, and I have a new hired guy that starts today.
Man: Did you say.. MegaCorp?...

Both look at each other.