would you still be my friend

A: So would you still be my friend if I looked like this? (making the most bizarre face)

B: Haha, yeah sure.

A: No, but my face would be permanently like that. Like cross-your-eyes and get them stuck like that stuck. (keeping that face throughout the rest of the dialogue, A continues)

B: ok.

A: What if I barked like a Rottweiler every time you said the word “and”?

B: Would I still be your friend?

A: Yeah.

B: Umm, probably.

A: What if I was like that dude we saw in San Francisco that dressed up in the leaves jumpsuit with branches and hid behind trash cans waiting to jump out and scare random people? (A jumps at B, making him flinch).Would you dress up with me and sneak attack from behind the trash cans too?

B: You’re on your own on that one, but I’d visit you.

A: Fair enough. But what if…? What if I refused to speak in English and answered you by screaming in a foreign language?

B: Haha, what language would that be?

A: ¿No me crees? Yo podría hablar cualquiera lengua deseo. Dies macht Spaß, no?

B: Dude, that’s so stupid. You wouldn’t be able to say anything, AND no one would understand you.

A: (begins to bark like a Rottweiler) Jeg tror slik ikke.

B: (frustrated, he storms off stage)

A: (yelling after him) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?!