Apples

(Girl and boy walk casually across the stage)

Girl (With apple in hand. Extremely hyperbolic): I absolutely LOVE apples; they are SO delicious and such a marvelous, shiny red! “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” Have you ever gone apple-picking? I mean, what’s better than taking a bite out of a freshly picked, juicy granny smith? Mmmmm my mouth is watering just THINKING about it! And how about apple sauce? Or apple butter? Apple pancakes, and of course there’s apple pie! What would America be without apple pie? It would be a deprived, unpatriotic nation, that’s what it would be. The country is united in its love for apples. And OUR passion for apples should be even greater because after all, we’re in Ohio and have the privilege of honoring Johnny Appleseed! I bet that Johnny Appleseed would definitely agree with me on this: I know some people who like to put peanut butter on apples, or who love apples smothered in caramel and nuts, but I prefer mine plain because nothing beats that solid crunch!

(Girl takes a loud bite out of her apple and chews noisily for a few awkward seconds)

Boy (slouching, with his head down; bursting her “bubble”): I hate that crunching sound.

(boy and girl walk off stage).