pants

Pants

Person 1: with pants

Person 2: without pants

Person 3: without pants



Person 1 [standing and looking around]

Person 2: [walks in wearing underwear] hey.

Person 1: *pause* hey?

Person 2: how’s it going?

Person 1: good?

Person 2: that’s nice.

Person 1: Um…uh…why aren’t you wearing any pants?

Person 2: What? I’m wearing pants.

Person 1: No you’re not. You’re in your underwear. Have you lost your mind?

Person 2: You are the one who’s lost your mind. I am totally wearing pants.

Person 1: [looks confused] O…K?

Person 2: [shakes head and waits a few seconds] So how’s life? Everything well?

Person 1: Look, man, just put on some pants.

Person 2: [looking offended] I am wearing pants. You can't see them.

Person 1: You definitely aren’t wearing pants.

Person 2: Yes I am—[cut of by person 1]

Person 1: No you’re not! These are pants [points to their own pants]. Those are boxers. You are wearing boxers, which are NOT pants!

Person 2: You can see my boxers?

Person 1: YES! That’s all you’re wearing. Just underwear. No pants.

Person 2: What are you talking about? Hey you [shouting off stage]! Am I or am I not wearing pants?

Person 3: [Walks on to stage also in underwear]. Yeah you’re wearing pants.

Person 1: [look of disgust and confusion, then exit stage left (or right)]

Persons 2&3: [look at each other, shrug, and exit stage opposite of person 1]

--END SCENE--