First Lines

Woman walks onto center stage

Woman: (in a sarcastic tone) It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

Man walks on stage and stands next a woman

Man: (friendly) Call me Ishmael (waves)

Woman: (sarcastic) If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth

Man: (rambling nervously) When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. When it healed, and Jem’s fears of never being able to play football were assuaged, he was seldom self-conscious about his injury. His left arm was somewhat shorter than his right …

Woman: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times? (Awkwardly long pause) Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Man: In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.

Loud sound of crashing or screaming comes from off stage

Man: Who’s there?

Man turns to leave, going in the direction of the sound, then stops and says

Man: When shall we meet again in thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Man runs off stage in the direction of the sound

Woman: It was love at first sight

Woman walks off stage in opposite direction of man


Works Cited

Catch 22

Moby Dick

Anna Karenina

A Tale of Two Cities

To Kill A Mockingbird

Catcher and the Rye

Pride and Prejudice

Macbeth

T. S. Elliot

Hamlet