Brisket

Conversation between customer shopping at Heinen’s and an employee behind the meat counter.


-Customer: Excuse me, ma’am, but do you have any brisket larger than this?

-Employee at meat counter: No, I’m sorry, but they are all roughly that size. Briskets are small to begin with, so we don’t usually carry any “large” ones.

-Customer: Well, these briskets are REALLY small. Are you sure there aren’t any more in back that are a little larger, maybe around two pounds, because whenever I buy the brisket here, they look a little larger. These only weigh one pound, and by the time they’re cooked, they’ll be even smaller. What am I supposed to do at my Passover Seder? Could you please check in back for me because maybe you have some there that are larger?

-Employee: I’m pretty sure that we do not have any in back that are larger, but I’ll go check.

-Employee: (returns from metal swinging door of meat refrigerator shaking her head): Sorry, but that’s all we have.

-Customer: Well, would it be possible for you to call your location at Wilson Mills to see if they have any briskets better than the ones here?

-Employee: Sure. (Employee dials phone behind meat counter)…Hello, this is Heinen’s at the Green Road location, and I have a customer here looking for a brisket that weighs around two pounds. … Mhm, mhm, okay, thanks. (Employee hangs up phone and faces customer): Sorry, ma’am, but they are not carrying any brisket at all at the moment.

-Customer: Could you call the Lander location and see if they have any THERE?

-Employee: Sure.

-Employee (After talking with someone at the Lander location, she faces the customer again): The woman at Lander said that all of the briskets they have there are under two pounds.

-Customer: What do you mean by “under two pounds”? Are they a little under two pounds, or a lot?

-Employee: All she said was that they are probably like the ones we have here.

-Customer: Alright, fine. I’ll take one brisket. I have a larger one in the freezer at home that can supplement it. Good-bye.