Actors: 9 (Server1, 2, 3, Man1, 2, 3, Woman1, 2, 3)
Scenario: Three dinner dates are happening simultaneously. There are three tables spread equally apart in a line across the stage. At the start, three men, who are each sitting on the stage-right side of their respective table, are waiting for their dates to arrive. Each man has a different purpose for being on this “date”. Man1 wants to propose, Man2 wants his girlfriend to move in with him, and Man3 wants to break up (not so much a date, but still a dinner). The “catch” of the play is that for the most part, the servers have the same dialogue. So, the servers will say their lines at the same time. However, even though they have the same lines, they are still responding to their respective customer(s), which is to say that they will each mean different things. The same concept applies to the women.
At the start, the three men are waiting for their dates when the servers arrive at their respective tables at the same time.
S1,2,3: Hi there! My name is (servers quickly cycle through their names before continuing to speak in unison) –
S1: Will,
S2: Taylor,
S3: Dan,
S1,2,3: and I will be your server this evening. Would Sir care for something to drink?
M1: A bottle of your finest wine, please.
M2: I’d like an iced tea, please, and a lemonade for my date.
M3: Just a couple of waters. I don’t know I’ll be here that long.
S1,2,3: Very good, Sir. (The servers leave simultaneously, and several moments later, the men’s dates arrive simultaneously, just as the servers did previously)
W1,2,3: Hey, babe! (They simultaneously kiss their dates, simultaneously sit, and finally simultaneously cross their right leg over their left)
M1 (affectionately): Hey, you! How was your tennis match?
M2: Hi, honey. I’ve had a crummy day; I just have to tell you about it. Oh, by the way, I ordered you lemonade.
M3: Hello, Jackie. We need to talk.
W1,2,3: Okay.
M1: Did you and Janie beat the Berkley sisters?
M2: Well, it all started this morning when I turned on the radio on my way to work. I was listening to the 103.5 interview with Madonna. Did you catch it?
M3: I’ve been thinking…and I was wondering…well…(quickly searches for another thought other than “we’re through”) did you manage to return the sweater I got for you?
W1,2,3: Unfortunately, no.
M1: Aw, that’s too bad! Sorry I missed it. I’ll be there to support you next time!
M2: It wasn’t that great anyway; you didn’t miss anything.
M3: Well I’m sorry you found it unattractive. I’ll take you with me next time.
W1,2,3: Glad to hear it.
M1: So what was the score?
M2: Anyway, I noticed I needed gas. But right after I did, I realized I had just passed the cheapest station in town, and I wasn’t going to turn around in traffic, so I filled up at the next station I could find for ten cents more with your gift card, sorry.
M3: So…um…we haven’t really talked for a few days…Whatcha been up to?
W1,2,3: Oh, it doesn’t matter.
M1: Oh, that bad, huh? Dang! Those sisters really know how to bring it!
M2: I was really upset that I did that. I just couldn’t believe it.
M3: You didn’t answer any of my phone calls. Sorry, I know I can be a bit clingy at times.
W1,2(sarcastically, rolling eyes),3(sarcastically, rolling eyes): I know, sometimes it’s really hard to believe.
M1: So, you want to hear about my job interview?
M2: Anyway, remember how I said I would text you when I got to work to see if I left your nice pen there?
M3 (after a slight awkward silence): I brought you that “present” I told you about on a message I left you. Did you get it?
W1,2,3 (all enthusiastically): Yes, I’ve been waiting all day!
M1: Well, actually, before I tell you about how I got my superb, high-paying job, I just have to ask you something. (Woman1’s eyes widen with joy for M1)
M2: Well it wasn’t there, and I was going to text you when I realized that I’d left my phone at home. I know I kept you waiting…forgive me?
M3: Ok well here it is, so brace yourself.
W1,2(jokingly serious even though she doesn’t consider it a big deal),3: Alright. (M2 and W2 laugh at this)
M1 (he gets down on one knee and reveals a ring box): Jennifer, will you marry me? (At this point Server1 returns and W1 is overcome with joy)
M2: Well that made me feel bad, and I got to thinking. If we moved in with each other, things like this wouldn’t happen because we could remind each other not to forget things like that. So, do you want to move in with me? (At this point Server2 returns)
M3 (forcefully): Jackie, we’re through! (At this point Server3 returns)
W1(awestricken),2(unenthusiastically),3(upset): Why(!)(?)
S1,2,3: Oh, pardon me. Is this a bad time?
W1,2,3: Yes!
S1,2,3: My deepest apologies. (The servers exit simultaneously)
M1,2,3: Well, do you have anything to say?
W1,2,3: Yes –
(The next three lines are simultaneously said by the women)
W1: Yes, of course I’ll marry you!
W2: No, I’m not ready to move in with you.
W3: What the hell is wrong with you!? (storms out).
(There is a few-second pause)
M1,2,3: Well, I’m glad that’s over with!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Horse
An old woman
Someone pretending to be a horse
Someone in a “car”
Voice over
Horse and woman on stage
Voice: One day there will be a horse in your driveway and you wont know how it got there or why.
Horse: neighhh
Voice: You will be old, no doubt, and you will think that someone is watching you, or more likely talking about you without you hearing.
Old woman looks around as if someone is watching her
Voice: You will be living alone, maybe a widow, your husband having died in a home years ago, and you’ll know for sure that this is all a big joke.
Woman smiles
Voice: It will be early morning, in time to see the newspaper hurtle from an old and late (again) pick up
“Car” comes in, throws paper
Voice: The horse will be steaming a bit as they do, thirsty and hungry, but calm.
Woman goes offstage, comes back with a bucket
Voice: There will be a bucket in the garage for the horse to drink out of and you’ll wish you had oats.
“Horse” goes to the woman
Voice: For now, water will have to do
*Adapted from a monologue
Someone pretending to be a horse
Someone in a “car”
Voice over
Horse and woman on stage
Voice: One day there will be a horse in your driveway and you wont know how it got there or why.
Horse: neighhh
Voice: You will be old, no doubt, and you will think that someone is watching you, or more likely talking about you without you hearing.
Old woman looks around as if someone is watching her
Voice: You will be living alone, maybe a widow, your husband having died in a home years ago, and you’ll know for sure that this is all a big joke.
Woman smiles
Voice: It will be early morning, in time to see the newspaper hurtle from an old and late (again) pick up
“Car” comes in, throws paper
Voice: The horse will be steaming a bit as they do, thirsty and hungry, but calm.
Woman goes offstage, comes back with a bucket
Voice: There will be a bucket in the garage for the horse to drink out of and you’ll wish you had oats.
“Horse” goes to the woman
Voice: For now, water will have to do
*Adapted from a monologue
watermelon destruction
Actor 1: Walks on stage carrying a watermelon. Actor 1 then places the watermelon on a stool that is stood up in the middle of the stage. Afterwards, actor 1 then proceeds to walk off stage.
Actor 2: Walks on stage carrying a baseball bat. Actor 2 then looks at the audience for a brief moment, and then smashes the watermelon. After the watermelon is completely smashed actor 2 walks off stage.
End…
Actor 2: Walks on stage carrying a baseball bat. Actor 2 then looks at the audience for a brief moment, and then smashes the watermelon. After the watermelon is completely smashed actor 2 walks off stage.
End…
untitled (Life in the Fast Lane)
The play is about a man going through different moments in his daily life. In every scene in the play the man has a simple and bleak look in his eyes. The camera is focused on him, he does not move but the background of every different situation does. The play is about not having any free time to relax.
(Man lying in bed with his alarm clock going off)
(Man standing still brushing his teeth)
(Man eating breakfast alone at the table)
(Man being kissed goodbye bye his wife as he is about to leave for work)
(Man driving to work as the world passes him by)
(Man sitting at a cubicle, lifeless as the background moves rapidly behind him)
(Man eating lunch with his bickering coworkers)
(Man standing in a crowded elevator)
(Man waiting to cross the busy city street)
(Man sitting in Laundromat, waiting for his laundry)
(Man waiting in line at the grocery store)
(Man back in car returning home)
(Man checking his email)
(Man cooking dinner for him and his wife)
(Man eating dinner with his wife)
(Man doing the dishes)
(Man opening the front door to invite guests in)
(Man playing cards with guests)
(Man holding trash bag for his wife while they clean up the mess made by the guests)
(Man showering)
(Man lying in bed as his wife cuddles with his arm. While still in bed, the man holds up a small white sign that reads, “Life in the Fast Lane… Is it worth it?”)
(Man lying in bed with his alarm clock going off)
(Man standing still brushing his teeth)
(Man eating breakfast alone at the table)
(Man being kissed goodbye bye his wife as he is about to leave for work)
(Man driving to work as the world passes him by)
(Man sitting at a cubicle, lifeless as the background moves rapidly behind him)
(Man eating lunch with his bickering coworkers)
(Man standing in a crowded elevator)
(Man waiting to cross the busy city street)
(Man sitting in Laundromat, waiting for his laundry)
(Man waiting in line at the grocery store)
(Man back in car returning home)
(Man checking his email)
(Man cooking dinner for him and his wife)
(Man eating dinner with his wife)
(Man doing the dishes)
(Man opening the front door to invite guests in)
(Man playing cards with guests)
(Man holding trash bag for his wife while they clean up the mess made by the guests)
(Man showering)
(Man lying in bed as his wife cuddles with his arm. While still in bed, the man holds up a small white sign that reads, “Life in the Fast Lane… Is it worth it?”)
untitled (scarf)
Once upon a time in Cleveland there was an awesome humanities teacher named Mr. Dr. Ialacci. He was minding his own business while walking down Mayfield road, the wind was blowing past his long blonde hair and his Gucci scarf fell off. He then had to go back sprinting after his blue scarf. Once he caught it he while he was all sweaty he found a lose paper and started to read it. It was one of his students and was impressed with the fine work he/she had done. He then graded it and gave an A+, but there was no name on it so he has to go ask who’s it was. He then came back to school to find out it was his most premier students work, Mr. Oscar Philippe Kokokshka. He then gave the young students work an A and it because a NY top seller. All he is that he was the one who gave it, its first grade. Dr. Ialacci was very happy and went on with his life. 30 year later Oscar came back to grant Dr. Ialacci with a new red scarf. He then lost it to Stoop Kid who was sitting on his stoop waiting for things to fly to him. THE END
Deja Vu
Déja Vu
Location: A diner or restaurant, four or five tables
Cast: 6 Characters, gender nonspecific, placed in pairs
This piece is a set of rounds of the same dialogue. This acts to play on the subject of the dialogue, déja vu. The only necessary timing, though, is the synchronization of arrivals, and the final sequence. These locations are marked with an underline so as to be easily located. Other than that, each couple should play a distinct role from the others.
Here are some situations meant to accent certain aspects of the dialogue. However, they are not mandatory, and can be changed as desired.
* Situation 1-2: Familial, gender nonspecific
* Situation 3-4: Couple having an affair
* Situation 5-6: Business associates, gender nonspecific
Location: A diner or restaurant, four or five tables
Cast: 6 Characters, gender nonspecific, placed in pairs
This piece is a set of rounds of the same dialogue. This acts to play on the subject of the dialogue, déja vu. The only necessary timing, though, is the synchronization of arrivals, and the final sequence. These locations are marked with an underline so as to be easily located. Other than that, each couple should play a distinct role from the others.
Here are some situations meant to accent certain aspects of the dialogue. However, they are not mandatory, and can be changed as desired.
* Situation 1-2: Familial, gender nonspecific
* Situation 3-4: Couple having an affair
* Situation 5-6: Business associates, gender nonspecific
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