Welcome. Please have a seat. Now, this is a formal interview, but please,
just be yourself. The important thing to remember is that I just want to get
to know you to see if our school would be a good fit for you. Let’s start with
something simple. Tell me about yourself. Who are you?
o I don’t know.
As good an answer as any, I guess. But is there anything you can say?
Anything that defines you that would make our school appealing to you?
o I don’t know.
Well, all right then, moving on…what is it about this university that brought
you here? What do you find interesting about this establishment?
o I don’t know.
Oh, c’mon. You’re here; there must be something that caught your attention.
o I don’t know.
Really, sir, this interview may determine your whole future, your life! Don’t
you think that “I don’t know” is a bit of an underwhelming response to my
most basic questions?
o I don’t know.
Do you think this is funny? Like this is all just a joke?
o I don’t know.
(Depression) This can’t be happening to me. How can I make you understand
how important this interview is?
o I don’t know.
(Anger) Arrggghhh stop that right now! Just answer my questions! These
aren’t difficult, they’re just standard questions, why won’t you answer me?
Answer me, God damn it!
o I don’t know.
(Bargaining) Oh God, please make it stop! What can I give you to make you
leave? Anything, name it, it’s yours! What do you want from me?
o I don’t know.
(Depression) I just can’t stand it anymore. Why won’t you just tell me what I
want to know? Why can’t you just follow the rules like everyone else?
o I don’t know.
(Acceptance) Well, I guess I set myself up for this, asking you to be yourself.
Is there anything you do want to talk about?
o I don’t know.
Okay then. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just go and get some work done. You
can excuse yourself whenever you want to.
o (Sits for a while, gets up, moves to door, turns) So I’m in, right?
Oh, yes. Definitely.
o (Walks out door)
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