During the spring theater project play rehearsal four years ago…
Director: ok good work on #24, guys. Let’s move on to number 13.
Actor 1: No…. urgg….
Actor 2: “yes! Break time”
Actor 3: (to actor 1) “sorry bud”
Actor 2: (to actor 1) “have fun” turns to actor 3 “let’s go grab some food”
All actors leave stage except for Actor 1
Actor 1:” Do we really have to do this again?”
Director: “Ok. Come on. Stop whining. You don’t have any lines. All you have to do is roll the orange across the stage. Chop chop.”
Actor 1 grumbles, grabs an orange from the prop basket and shuffles off stage.
Director: (speaking to actor off stage) “Now, did you re-read your script over the weekend?”
Actor 1: (sarcastically) “yea… sure I did.”
Director: “Well alright let’s see what you’ve got.”
Actor 1 rolls orange across stage
Director: “No, no, no! What did we talk about? Try again.”
Actor runs across stage, gets orange and runs back off stage. Rolls orange again.
Director: “We only have three more days until we open! What do you think you are doing? Again.”
Actor runs across stage, gets orange and runs back off stage. Rolls orange again.
Director: “No! What were we talking about? You have to put emotion, passion and a little bit of abstinence. Again.”
Actor runs across stage, gets orange and runs back off stage. Rolls orange again.
Director: “I don’t know what to tell you. You’re missing that little something…. That X factor. Try it again.”
Actor runs across stage, this time panting a little, gets orange and walks back off stage. Rolls orange again.
Director: “Oh! (nostalgic) in my day, they really know how to tell a story, how to show some sort of feeling how to move an audience. (sad, tired) let’s try again, just once more to see if you can muster up some… something.”
Throws script down on ground and paces in a circle.
Actor runs across stage, gets orange and runs back off stage. Rolls orange again.
Director: “You nincompoop! (Finally gets fed up) have you even read the script? You’re missing the motion, the passion!”
Actor storms onstage and screams, “IT’S ONE LINE. ALL THE SCRIPT SAYS IS ROLL THE ORANGE ACROSS THE STAGE. This is stupid. I’m done.”
Storms off stage.
Director: (as the actor gets behind the curtain) “Once more! Once more!”
Actor’s stomping footsteps stop and he/she says: “I’ll give you ‘once more’”
Chucks orange across the stage.
Director: “PERFECT!”
C'mon, where's the love? This piece is a brilliant send-up of the whole 2-minute play schtick. This baby is hilarious. Don't let this gem sink back into the much from which it came!
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